


A Better Reality

by wwddd



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bullying, Fluff, Highschool AU, Lots of drama, M/M, Popular!Dean, artist!Cas, confort, jealous!Gabriel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-21
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-02-22 02:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 16,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2491079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wwddd/pseuds/wwddd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is a soccer player and Castiel is a guy who spends his evenings watching scifi marathons with his best friend. Dean and Cas keep stealing glances at each other and can't manage to look away once their eyes have met.<br/>Highschool AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A better reality

He's sitting in class, blue eyes twitching from his test-paper towards the green eyed boy in the row next to his.

He can't concentrate on his Italian paper. Actually, the only reason he inscribed to that foreign language course was Dean Winchester. He overheard Dean talking to his friends about it, so of course he put his name on the list. Castiel tears his eyes away from Dean, back at the paper and pen in front of him, his leg switches nervously making his whole body tremble lightly when he realizes he doesn't even understand the assignments.

He lets his head fall down heavily on the desk in frustration and anger. During the lessons he is mostly preoccupied with watching Dean shift, how his hand touches his neck when he's not entirely sure about something or a little embarrassed. How his eyes get lighter when sun meets them, or how much he wishes he could be that pen, that Dean puts in his mouth, so often. His mind keeps replaying images of Dean over and over until he hears the noise of leather on jeans.

Castiel's head shoots up as he sees and smells Dean, who is about to leave the classroom. The green eyed stands up, fixes his old, used leather jacket, shoves pen in his backpack and throws that over his left shoulder. When Dean passes by Castiel's desk, the smell of leather mixed with motor oil and some aftershave hits Cas like a wave. He sucks in all the smell like a sponge, desperate for water. As Dean reaches the teacher's desk, he hands in the paper with a sly grin, perfect opportunity for Castiel to check out that beautiful ass of Dean's. His jeans are worn out but hugged his behind in the best way possible, and as long as Cas has the possibility to stare, he is going to. While Castiel was appreciating the view, Dean turned around in a swift motion, catching Cas staring, who's face turned as bright red as a streetlight.

Dean just smirks and shoots another grin towards the blushing boy, before winking at him and getting out of the suddenly hot classroom. Castiel just continues staring at the door, where Dean Winchester just went outside. His mouth hanging open, his face bloodshot, the test forgotten.

After quite some time, and some harsh words from his teacher Mr. Crowley, Castiel returns his thought to the Italian paper. He bites his small lips and stares down at the piece of paper in front of him trying to at least write one word. “Finally” he whispers to himself in relief, when he finds an advise he understands. The rest of the hour passes fast, and while most of the students already handed their papers in, Castiel is still sitting in the classroom till the very moment the bell rings.

He quickly grabs his blue pen and the test without noticing Mr. Crowley's disapproving look as he sees the nearly empty test. Castiel doesn't have problems at school, but he's not the brightest light in the room, so failing a test isn't something he's never done, but it's still surprising to some teachers. With pen still in his hand and rucksack over his shoulders he hurries down the aisle to get to his next class, English.

When the blue-eyed boy reaches the classroom he realizes that he has forgotten, the book they are currently reading, in the locker. He turns around quickly and his chest smashed into something firm and hard. Air is pressed out of his body with a silent “oh”. Because of the encounter his pen fell to the floor, and as Castiel bends down the pick it up he realizes in who he just crashed into. The boy shoots back up and is immediately greeted by shiny green eyes.

“Sorry”, Green-eyes whispers, way to close to Cas face.

“My fault”, barley escapes Castiel's chapped lips. His eyes still interlocked with Dean's.

Suddenly Castiel realizes that he could easily press his lips on the other boy's, he could just stretch his arm out a little and he could ruffle through that light brown hair, and pull him towards him. It would be so easy, but Castiel just keeps standing there, unmoving, eyes wide, like a deer caught in the headlights. Dean is the one who breaks the spell, they seemed to be under. He bends down, picks up Cas' pencil and hands it to the other boy, who took it mechanically and nods his thanks.

The sweet smell of Dean that just filled his lungs, brain and all the air around him, disappears into thin air with only a soft “goodbye” murmured, barley audible.


	2. Here we go again

Castiel's ears are ringing. The forgotten book left unnoticed, he goes into the English classroom, pen clutched tightly to his chest. Without even bothering to think about it he sits down on his usual chair the one right next to the quirky red-haired who watches him curiously. The boy's blue eyes are widened and his skin is even paler than normal. “Jesus” he mumbles with his hands in front of his mouth. He crinkles his nose and turns toward Charlie who tilts her head in confusion (a motion she picked up from Cas). “What happened to you?” the red-haired asks. Castiel's eyes wander from Charlie's mud-green eyes to her bright, long hair. There his eyes fixed at a gray fuzz that somehow got stuck in the girl's hair. “I just crashed into Dean, after he winked, actually winked, at me in Italian”  
His eyes wander back to see Charlie's whole face.

Her hand grips into Cas' arm as she shrieks:”Dean Winchester?!”

“Shut up!” he says and presses his palm against his friends mouth. That only makes the girl giggle and fortunately Ms. Missouri walked in and silenced the classroom.  
With a pout Charlie gets out her stuff and follows the lecture. 

Castiel only half listens what's going on, he gets ripped out of his thoughts as a white, nearly blank, scrunched up page lands on his desk.  
Either it's a message from Charlie or some idiot wants to get on his nerves and make is school life even harder.  
Castiel opens the paper carefully and breaths a sigh of relieve as he sees the big letters Charlie uses to write messages during lessons.  
“Tell me everything – C. “ is all that's written on the page, so Castiel starts writing down what happened between him and Dean Winchester. Just as he is about to through the piece of paper back to Charlie, Ms. Missouri calls him out:” Castiel, please read the next paragraph.”  
“Uhm..” he stammers,” I uhm... I forgot my book in the locker”

“Well, at least the book has got it warm and nice there”

Some students chuckled while the boy turns bright red and stares down at his table.  
Someone else called Garth starts reading instead and Castiel quickly throws the sheet to Charlie who opens it with sheer and plain curiosity.  
The boy watches her facial expressions while she read it. At the end she just mouthed “wow” and Cas blushed once again, moving his hand in a matter that means it's not a big deal.  
Frankly he thinks it is a big thing, but he also guesses that he is probably just exaggerating. 

The bell finally gets him out of the over thinking and together with Charlie he makes his way into the cafeteria. As soon as they got their food they sit down on a table next to Gabriel, Castiel's younger brother, and Anna, Charlies girlfriend. Without much interest in the food he's eating he observes the room, as his eyes find what they've been looking for. 

From where he sits he has perfect sight to the table where Dean is sitting. The other boy is surrounded by his soccer-teammates and some Cheerleaders, one of the his best friend Lisa.  
Castiel watches as Dean throws fries into his mouth and bites hearty into a burger. 

Castiel smiles to himself as he sees just how happy Dean seems. The blue-eyed boy looks down on his table, than back up only to be greeted by green eyes that make his goosebumps rise. “That's not the only thing they could get to rise” he thinks and starts blushing.  
Their eyes interlock and nobody seems to be able to look away from the other. Everything around the boys is tuned out, they only see each other eyes. Until Gabriel clears his voice and someone throws a french frie at Dean.


	3. Great times with far better people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I suck at updating, hope you like the chapter. 
> 
> (Yes chapter titles are from All Time Low - Somewhere In Neverland)

“Hey, Cas. You with us?” Anna joked, flipping her fingers in front of the boys face.   
“Huh?” he asked startled   
“LotR-Marathon at Charlies, tonight?”  
“Yeah, sure. Sounds fun” Cas gives a weak smile and hides his hands under the table, that fiddle nervously with the hem of his blue hoodie. “Dean fucking Winchester” he curses under his breath.

The next hours are filled with torturous boring lessons, finally the bell frees them and a happy sigh escapes Cas' chapped lips. He quickly packed his backpack and heads home. The boy usually takes the bus home, but today he decided to go on foot. His breath produces white smokey puffs in the cold winter air. The blue-eyed boy pulls his scarf and trenchcoat closer around his slightly shaking body, and his mind wanders to the other boy. Dean Winchester is two years older and a Senior, like Gabriel. Castiel saw Dean the very first time in Freshman year and has a huge crush on him since then. Today was the day they first talked to each other, and Cas is mind blown. All the way home he thinks about Dean, about his freckles, the way his eyes open wide when he's surprised and how good his ass looks in that stupid jeans. Never once does Cas' smile leave his freezing face. 

Half an hour later he stomps through the entry of their little house and greets his mom with a hug.  
“Hello, sweetie. How was school?”   
“Fine” he responded while taking off the trenchcoat and shoes, smile never leaving.   
His mum already retreated into the kitchen, “You want some PB & J ?”   
“Yes, please” the boy cheered.   
While sitting at the kitchen table he told his mother about his planes for the weekend.  
“Sure you can go to Charlie. Is Gabriel coming with you?”   
“Nah, I'm way to cool for that.” Gabe remarked with a heavy smirk on his face.   
“I got myself a hot date, bye folks “ I pushes a lollipop in his mouth, winks at Cas and leaves the house.   
Castiel smiles to himself and shakes his head, he loves his big brother but sometimes he is a pain in the ass. “Poor girl” he muttered, and his mother choked on her freshly brewed coffee.   
“Castiel!” his mother said, laugh still audible in the slightly harsh tone. Castiel just smiled and left the kitchen to take a shower and get ready for the marathon. 

At exactly 7:55 pm he knocks at the green door he knows so well.   
An excited Charlie beams:”Hey, Cas”   
“Hello, Charles” he replied with a smile.  
Charlie glared at him for the nickname, but opened the door wider to let the boy in.   
Anna is already seated on the huge gray couch, a blanket thrown over her feet and a bowl of popcorn in her lap. “Heya” she greets, mouth full of food. Castiel opens his rucksack and hands each of the girls a bottle of Coke, and lays the rucksack on the floor.   
“Shall we begin?” Castiel asked with a huge smile on the lips.  
Charlie looks down on her feet, the colorful socks a heavy contrast to the wooden floor. “No, there's someone missin' “   
Before Cas can ask any further question he hears the doorbell ring and the red-head rushes out towards the door. Castiel looks at Anna, eyebrows raised she just shrugged and continued stuffing popcorn into her mouth. Castiel chuckled and as his eyes swayed back to the living room door, he interlocked them with bambi-brown eyes.   
“Hi, I'm Sam, nice to meet you” the new guy says smiling a bit shy.  
“Nice to meet you too, I'm Cas.” Cas responded politely.   
Sam's long shaggy brown hair fell in front of his eyes and he quickly swept them away, glancing at the free spot next to Cas.  
Seeing that, Charlie offered:” Make your self at home”   
She smiled and gestured for him to sit next to Castiel.   
“By the way”,Charlie says ”Sam is Dean Winchesters little brother” and the read-head hushed out the room the get more popcorn for her girlfriend and some chips for the others.  
Castiel nearly choked on his coke and shot Sam a apologizing look, before Charlie started the movie and seated herself next to her girlfriend and the end of the couch. She didn't even so much as glance at Castiel, but had a mischievous grin on her face.


	4. And Weekends With Our Friends

Castiel couldn't really focus on the movie. He's constantly thinking about green sparkling eyes and figures out similarities between Sam Winchester and his breathtakingly hot brother. They have the same laugh, not the tiny shy ones, but the full on body laugh where they nearly double over. Castiel tries to not smile too lovingly at Sam when he does that specific laugh, but he can't stop himself. He tries not to look at the brown haired boy for the rest of the night.   
Anna keeps demanding Popcorn and Charlie shuts her up by peppering thousand of kisses all over her giggling face. Castiel remembered how he practically shoved Charlie towards Anna, when she first laid eyes on that ginger girl. It was love at first sight for Charlie but Anna was a little overwhelmed, it being her first relationship with a girl.   
Before Anna has met Charlie she was like a clone of those girls from “Mean Girls”.   
She made fun of every student and generally was a huge asshole. Still everyone either wanted to sleep with her or be her, then she met Charlie. A nerdy girl wearing princess Leia shirts and Griffindor scarfs.   
Charlie needed a lot of time and reassurance -mostly from Cas- to gather up the courage of asking Anna out.  
When she finally asked, she stuttered, shivered and her voice broke way too many times. Fortunately Anna understood her and simply said “yes”.   
They have been together for three weeks before Anna stopped bullying other kids.   
Charlie had told her about how she was being bullied and treated like shit in middle school. As Charlie told her, she was sitting on her bed in her room, watching down at her lap, not being capable of looking into the eyes of her girlfriend. She didn't want to disappoint her, or give her reasons to leave. Anna was shocked, she couldn't believe how much damage she had caused she just hugged her beautiful read head and held her tight.  
The next day Anna went to every single person she ever made a mean comment about -which were quit a lot- and apologized. At the end of the day she went to Charlie and apologized or behaving so mean and thanked her for opening up her eyes. That day was the first day Anna told Charlie she loves her.   
Anna still looks right out of the movie “Mean Girls”, she's just no longer behaving like an ass.

As Castiel thinks about the both of them he can't stop that small smile that spreads on his lips.   
“Why are you smiling, Cas?” Charlie wanted to know.  
“I just remembered how you and Anna met.”  
As soon as the word were said, Anna and Charlie looked at each other and smiled   
lovingly at each other which resulted in a sweet and chaste kiss.  
“How did you meet?” Sam asked with a shy smile at the corner of his mouth.  
The three of them told him the story, they cracked up laughing a few times. They ended upo talking about everything instead of watching the movie, but nobody cared. 

Castiel got along with Sam rather good. The younger Winchester even suggested they'd meet up next Friday to binge watch the new series of Doctor Who. They all agreed and spend the rest of the night sleeping, talking and eating chips and popcorn. All in all it was a wonderful evening and Castiel thanked Charlie silently for inviting his love interests brother. 

 

The day after, Cas has just entered his house were Gabe already waited impatiently for him.  
“What's up little brother? How was your date?” Cas wiggled suggestively with his eyebrows and Gabriel just rolled his eyes at him.  
“Yeah... about that” he said with a tight-lipped smile.  
“What, she didn't like you?” Cas teased.  
Gabriel put his hands in his pockets and looked away.  
“I have to tell you something” he nearly whispered, although no one was around. Gabe motioned to follow him and the brothers went upstairs.


	5. Tell Me How You Feel, Over And Done With

“Tell me whats going on!” The older Novak demanded.  
Gabriel sat down on his bed and signalized Castiel to sit down next to him.  
“My date.. it wasn't” he stuttered, “it wasn't with a girl” his shoulders slumped. He avoided every eye contact with his brother.   
“So you are telling me that you are gay?” confusion spread across his face, he tilts his head and wait until Gabe starts talking again.  
“I... I don't think gay is the right word. I think.. I am pan sexual.” determination clear in his voice. He combed out his hair with his fingers and waited for a reaction.  
Castiel chuckles and gains a glare at that, his smile vanished and he ordered:”Hey, listen up! Remember when I told you that I'm gay. Remember how I started to cry because I panicked. I thought you would hate me. I feared that our parents would throw me out. You just stood there, shook your head, hugged me and we had our worst chick-flick moment ever. You told me that you loved me, no matter what. The first thing you did was call a friend of yours and ask him if he were interested in dating me.” The brothers shared a small laugh. Castiel even blushed a little saying it.  
“Do you really think I would react negatively at your outing, brother? I'm there for you, no matter what, right?”  
“Right” Gabe answers, his eyes were wet when he looked up and Castiel gave him a crushing hug.   
“So... who was the lucky guy?” the older Novak urged.   
“You noisy little shit” Gabe laughed.” His name is Dean Winchester”  
The smile on Castiels face vanishes. He freezes and stares at Gabriel wide-eyed.  
“ Dean Winchester? The Soccer player? From our school?”  
“Ehm, yes!? Something about him?” Gabe informed.  
“Nothing, just..”  
“You like him! Don't you?!” The younger Novak interrupted.  
Silence followed.  
“Well, I do appreciate his appearance.” Castiel blushed and put his arms tight around his waist so to not feel the pain of the broken heart.  
“Oh my God. I am so sorry, Cas!” Gabriel screamed but Castiel was already out the door and crying into his pillow. 

“Why did you even think you had a chance”, he whispered to himself. The tears wouldn't stop falling. “ I'm a nerd who spends his weekends watching movies, how could I ever think he'd be interested? How could I be so dumb”   
He kept crying into his pillow he only stopped sobbing as he heard Gabe knocking at his bedroom door.  
“Please Cas, let me in” he begged.  
Castiel ignored his brother, he knew it wasn't his fault. Still he couldn't bare to see or hear him, so he just switched on some music. He turned it up so loud he couldn't hear his own thoughts anymore. His eyes were rimmed red, his oceans of blue still on the verge of welling up. 

After a little forever Cas turned off the music and made his way into the bathroom. He washed his face, the red was barely visible, and went to his brothers room.  
He knocked and heard fast and light footsteps approaching the door.  
“Hey” Gabe said shyly.  
“Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I don't blame you. I was just mad at myself for thinking that I have a chance.” Castiel confessed  
“I'm sorry, brother. If I had known... The date didn't really go so well, anyway.” A sad smile spread on his face.   
“Do you.. have another date?” his eyes didn't leave the wooden floor.  
“Ehm.. yes. But I can cancel it if you want to!”   
“No!” Castiel nearly shouts, he looks up ”Enjoy your date. I'll be fine.” He smiles slightly and heads downstairs to get something to eat. Maybe that can fill the void in his chest.


	6. Chapter 6

Next week is spent mostly in silence by Castiels side. Charlie keeps throwing worried glances at him all Monday long during class. In the short break between 2nd and 3rd hour Charlie grabs the hem of his shirt and shoves him into the library. The library is mostly empty only a few students are gathered at the romance section discussing a John Green book. The room is filled with bookcases to the ceiling. The reassuring smell of books sets into Cas' bones and immediately creates an atmosphere of comfort within him. Charlie keeps tugging at the boys shirts and pulls him into a more private part of the library. The ringin of the bell, that signalized the beginning of the third hour, is heard, but the friends stay where they are.”Charlie, I'll be late.” His protest is weak and dissapears completely as Charlie glares annoyed at him.   
“Tell me what's going on!” the read-haired demanded.  
Castiel looked down at the linoleum floor while responding with a whisper:”Gabe went on a date with Dean.”  
“Your brother went on a date with the guy you are having a crush on since like forever? Holy shit!”   
Castiels eyes welled up again, and blue eyes threatened to drown. He quickly rubbed at them with harsh and angry movements.   
“I'm sorry, Cas” the girl said and put a hand on his shoulder.   
Charlie could feel him shaking and the gentle gesture turned into a long reassuring hug.   
Castiel sobbed into his best friends shoulder. “I'm sorry” he said with a soft and raw voice.   
“Don't be” Charlie answered and gently wiped his tears away with her red shirtsleeve.  
“Thank you” Cas added as he moved away from Charlie and breaks their hug.   
“You're welcome, Cas. I'm always here for you, like you were for me.”  
A quick hug followed, and the spent the rest of the 3rd hour in the library skipping class. 

Charlie tried not to mention neither Dean nor Gabriel. She didn't even bring up the get-together with Sam. The rest of the classes aren't getting skipped by them. Charlie and Anna watched over the blue-eyed boy, who's not sure if that angered him or if he liked it. Anyway he appreciated the effort. They go to Annas after school, because Cas doesn't really want to see Gabriel just now. They play some xBox and joke around until it's dark outside and Castiel as to go home.  
At home he keeps himself occupied with homework and studying. Anything to keep his mind busy. 

Thats how the next few days go. He tries not to look at the table Dean is sitting during lunch, or at his locker, but he does start to talk to Gabriel, because he knows it's not his brothers fault that he fell for that soccer-player. 

Friday they, including Anna, Charlie, Sam and Castiel, agreed on meeting at six o'clock at Sam's. Castiel was looking forward to the Doctor Who marathon. All he feard was seeing Sam's brother Dean.   
His heart was racing, the pizza warm in his arms as he ringed the doorbell with the name “Winchester” written on it.   
A boy with shaggy brown hair opened the small door with a huge grin plastered on his face. “Hey, Cas”   
“Hello, Sam” Castiel greeted.  
“Come on in. Nobody's home tonight”  
“Great” Castiel answered even though every inch of his being was dissapointed in not being able to see the football player.   
The doorbell ringed again and Sam left to let the others in.   
Castiel looks around the living room. There was a big brown sofa, a few pillows. On the walls there were two painting which looked suspiciously like Sam and Dean drew them in kindergarten. Next to the TV was a shelve with pictures of a toddler and a baby in his arms, both smiling brighter than the sun. There was a picture of a couple at their wedding day, but before Cas could observe the photographs further Sam entered the room. His easy smile was gone and replaced by a tight-lipped smile. “Well I guess we have some special guests for today.” Sam says as Dean and Gabriel enter the living room.


	7. Somewhere In Neverland P.1

“Gabe” Castiel states flat and without a hint of emotion.  
“Hey, Cassie” rejoices Gabe with a shit eating grin plastered on his face.   
“Wait” Sam interupts,” You two know each other?” Dean silently stares at the brothers, eyes big and uncertain as he fidges with the hem of his bandshirt.  
“Yeah, sort of” Gabe mentions with a wink and continues “He's my big brother”  
Dean and Sam just stare at them with their mouths wide open. Sams mouth opens and closes again without any words tumbling out, it makes him look like a fish trying to breath. Dean catches himself faster and quickly looks down at the floor, his face is flushed red. Gabe just shrugges and chuckles:” Anyway. Cas, that's my friend Dean” he winks at Cas, who glances briefly at the blushing boy before his brother continues”We dated, but we both decided we're not meant to be” a thetric sigh forces its way out of Gabes lips. Castiels eyebrows furrow in confusion.  
”Nah, we're just friends.” Dean states with a smirks and ads”Gabe is way to weird for me”.   
“You are really hurting my feelings there, Dean-o” Gabe quibs and punshes him in the shoulder.  
The doorbell rings and Sam quickly hurries out the let the ladies in, Dean stumbles into the kitchen to get snacks, drinks and blankets to put on the floor.   
Gabe heads to Castiel, who is awstruck, his blue eyes are widened and small smile is plastered on his face.   
“Just friends?” he whispers bearly audible.   
“Yes, just friends” Gabe answers, with a fond smile and hugs his brother briefly.“Now go get him tiger”   
Cas breaks out in a relieved laugh:”Shut up, Assbutt!”  
“Assbutt?” Dean aks entering the room with a pile of food on his arms. The boys help him unload them.   
Castiel blushes and as he arranges the food on the floor he tries to explain:”Our mum greatly dislikes insults in any form, so Gabe and I had to invent a word she could not forbid us to use”  
Dean smiles and mumbles “Assbutt” under his breath ”I like it”, the boy gives Castiel his 100watt smile. Castiels knees get a little weak, and his dark pupils widen.   
Loud chatter fills the room as Charlie and Anna finaly arrive. Charlie stops talking as she sees Dean Winchester standing nonchalantly in the room.   
Dean looks up at the sudden silence. He chatches Charlies look and stares back at the ginger girl before saying:”Hi, I'm Dean. Sammy's brother” the last part is added with hesitation as he doesn't get an answer.   
“I'm Anna” Anna says while nudging her girlfriend in the side.”That beautiful girl by my side is named Charlie.”  
Charlie still doesn't say a word she just stares.   
“Usually you can't stop her from talking. Let's enjoy her silence” Castiel tries sounding light and careless while giving Charlie his meanest glare. This seems to get the girl out of her trance.   
“Sorry. Hey” she greets lamely.  
Sam breaks the sudden tension when he orders the guys to sit down as he puts in the Doctor Who DVD's.   
Happily the group plants themselves on the couch and the pile of blankets on the floor. Castiel somewho manages to sit next to Dean on the couch. When they are all settles he glances up at the slightly taller boy and smiles warmly at him. The smile is returned as Dean shoves some chips between his full lips. Cas tries really hard not to look at Dean or get distracted by him, but he only followes the episode for a few minutes until every atom of his being is consumed with thoughts of the boy right next to him. He can feel Deans bodyheat, he can smell that typical leather-motor-oil-aftershave of Dean and it makes him feel intoxicated.


	8. Somewhere In Neverland P 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that a needed so long for this one.  
> Hope you enjoy :)  
> Reviews would be appreciated

The day after the somewhat weird get-together Castiel finds himself in the center of the town. The boy sits on a park bench and observes the crowds of people around him. Cold wind blows through his dark hair and makes him shiver as he pulls his trench coat closer around him. He opens his notebook and reaches for his pencil in the backpack and Castiel starts drawing on the white sheet of paper. He gets lost in forming the outlines of the crowds. The noises turn dull and the different colors stand in a stark contrast to the gray sky and dirty ground. The boy feels a finger tapping on his shoulder and nearly jumps an inch; getting dragged out of his thoughts.  
“Sorry, Cas! I didn’t mean to startle you”  
“Hello, Dean” Castiel brings forth with a deep blush on his cheeks.  
“Hey, Cas” Dean greets, smirk plastered on his face “watcha doing?”  
“Nothing” Cas claims while quickly shutting his notebook and putting everything back into his rucksack.  
Dean pouts and crosses his arms; Castiel shrugs him off and laughs:” I’m going to eat something. Would you like to join me?” The last part is spoken full of hope.  
Dean takes a good, long look at his phone and sighs:” I don’t know, Cas…”  
Castiel’s face falls visible and Dean starts laughing uncontrollably while trying to get out four simple words: “Dude, I was joking!”  
“Oh” is all that Castiel says, his cheeks brightening again.  
Cas gets up from the bench and the other teenager follows, small laughs escaping his lips.  
“Shut up” Cas mumbles.  
“I’m sorry. Let’s get some burgers, shall we?”  
“I love burgers” Cas informs.  
“Great” Dean answers with a fat grin on his face, while he puts his arm around Castiel’s shoulder, who may or may not starts to blush once again. 

They both order burger and fries in the restaurant called Roadhouse. The food there is delicious and Cas can’t help but moan around the mouthful of burger. Dean just stares at him wide eyed and swallows hard. A flirtatious smile appears on Cas lips and Dean quickly looks down on his plate, pretending to analyze the French fries.  
“These make me very happy” Castiel says, talking about the burger.  
Dean finally looks up again:” Yeah, Ellen makes the best burgers in Kansas.”  
“Ellen?”  
“She owns the Roadhouse and is a chef. She’s a friend of the family. You may know her daughter Jo. She’s a cheerleader. “  
“Blonde hair? Mouth like a sailor?” the blue eyed boy describes.  
Dean chuckles: “Exactly.”

The talk for a while, pay and then leave together.  
“You need a ride home?” the green-eyed boy asks.  
“I don’t want to cause you an inconvenience” Castiel objects.  
“Shut up! You won’t” Dean declares.  
“Then I’d really appreciate a lift home. Thank you”  
Castiel smiles gently as he gets into the black car.  
“So how do you like my baby?” Dean says, his hand his petting the inside of the car with affection.  
“Your baby?” Confusion obvious in his voice.  
“The car. It’s a ’67 Chevy Impala, real treasure.” The boy says with a fond smile on his lips. “Well, let’s get you home then, Castiel.”  
They didn’t talk during the ride, both enjoying the rambling of the engine. The only words spoken were the instructions to Cas’ house. Dean parks in front of the car, and Cas gets ready to leave the car, his hand reaches the door handle when Dean speaks up: “Wait, Cas.”  
The other boy stops dead in his tracks and turns around to face Dean who is now the one blushing.  
“Was that… I mean was that a date?” he whispers, his green eyes glancing towards the floor of the car.  
Castiel can’t help but smile: ”No.”  
“Oh” is all that Dean manages to get out.  
“But next Saturday, that’s a date” Castiel quickly says before the courage leaves him again. He climbs out the car and before closing the door he glances at Dean who’s sitting in his beloved car, mouth wide open and eyes shining.  
“Awesome” is the last thing Cas hears before ultimately closing the door.


	9. Italian isn't so bad

The next week passes in a blur. When Cas meets Dean in the school coridor he smiles shyly and waves before continuing his walk. Dean just grins back and locks eyes with the blue-eyed boy, which makes Cas go a little weak in the knees. They don't talk though, not until their shared Italian class on Friday.  
“Hey, Cas” Dean greets as he sits down in his assigned seat.  
“Hello, Dean” Castiel says a small smile on his lips.  
“D'you think we get that test paper back today?”  
Castiel's eyes widen as he remembers that he completely failed that test. He lets his head fall to the desk and mumbles:” God, I hope not.”  
Dean just chuckles and alleges:”It can't be that bad-”  
Castiel interrupts him with an incredulous glare, and Dean quickly shuts his pretty mouth.  
Mr. Crowley is still not in the classroom so Dean swallows hard and turns, once again, towards Castiel. “Ehm...” the boy starts blushing as Castiel looks him deep in the eyes,” W-when should I pick you up tomorrow?”  
Castiel grins and licks his lips, Dean's eyes follow the motion of his lips, which draws a low chuckle out of the younger boy. Dean quickly glances away, his face is bright red.  
“Around seven?” Castiel asks, smile still visible Dean just nods and to his luck Mr. Crowley enters the classroom and starts the lesson.  
“Buongiorno, raggazzi!” the teacher in the dark suit greets.  
“Buongiorno, professore.” The students recite.  
Mr. Crowley sits back down on his chair and starts talking in Italian, while Castiel tries hard to follow what the man says.  
“La maggior parte dei risultati sono buoni, ma per uno studente non è andata molto bene. Va beh, ve li consegno adesso. Controllateli e se avete domande, chiedete a me.”  
The teacher calls out the student's names and Castiel is confused, he starts sweating and jumps up slighty as Dean's hand touches his. “He's handing back our test papers, he said that one student fucked up and we should correct them now and if we've got any questions we're supposed to ask him.”  
Castiel swallows hard, he blinks rapidly as he looks into green eyes.  
“Thank you.” he stammers with genuine. Dean just waves his hand in a don't-think-about-it-man-gesture, he opens his mouth to say something, but Crowley calls his name and he stands up, not without winking at Cas and laughing at the red cheeks of the other boy.  
“Fucking Winchester” Cas mutters as he tries to get rid of the blush.  
Castiel's name gets called out as the last one. Mr. Crowley stands up and shows with his hands to the door. The boy follows the man obediently out the classroom. Before Crowley even manages to open up his mouth, the boy is already rambling:”I am very sorry and disappointed in my self for that grade Mr. Crowley. If you'd be willing to give me a second chance, I am sure I'll do better next time. Please don't let me fail this class I-”  
“Calm down, Castiel.” Crowley says, not a hint of worry in his eyes. “I'm not gonna let you fail for one bad mark. C'mon! You act like I'm king of hell or something.”  
The man chuckles,(even his laughter has a British accent) and punches Cas lightly on the shoulder. “I wanted to suggest you to study together with one of the more… talented students. Maybe Dean Winchester?”  
“Yes, I think that would indeed be rather helpful. Thank you, sir.”  
“No problem, Castiel. Just try harder for the next test paper.”  
“I will.” Relief washed over the boy as he and the teacher reenter the stuffy classroom.  
Dean glances up at him curiously, the other boy gives him a small smile and makes his way over to sit on his chair next to Dean.  
“What did he say?” he whispers.  
“He suggested I study with you. Would that be okay for you?” the blue-eyed boy doesn't dare look into those green eyes.  
“Sure. I'd love to.”  
The happiness in Dean's voice makes him suspicious, he looks over at him with his eyebrows raised in question.  
“What?” Dean states, confusion obvious on his face.  
“You sound so happy about… studying” the last word is said with a hint of disgust. “I just did not think of you as a person who enjoys studying.”  
The freckled boy blushes and quickly stands up as the bell rings, announcing the end of the hour.  
They both pack up their things and before Dean rushes out the door, like usually, he turns over to Castiel and confesses:” It's not the studying that makes me happy. It's… ehm… the person I'm doing it with that makes me look forward to it.”  
With that he practically disappears into thin air, while Cas is left standing in his classroom with his mouth wide open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope i didn't make any mistakes writting that bit in Italian. Should you see a mistake please let me know, that would be really nice. Thanks :)  
> Well thanks to everyone who's reading it.  
> Sorry for sucking at updating properly.  
> And sorry for not writing about their date, I just don't know what to write yet so I made a filling chapter, Sorry. I hope you can enjoy it anyway.  
> Greets,  
> -N


	10. A drop in the ocean

Castiel's last lesson passes without being noticed by him, all he can think about are green-eyes and freckles. After school the boy catches the bus and sits next to Gabriel on the way home.  
“What's getting you all giddy?” Gabe addresses  
“Huh?” Cas questions as he shoves his backpack under the bus seat, “What are you implying?”  
“C'mon. Don't be like that, Cassie!” the younger Novak pouts,”Tell me what's going on in that life of yours.”  
Castiel bends his head and avoids any eye contact with his brother. Gabe nudges him and repeatedly forces his brother to tell him. After ten minutes of Gabriel annoying him, he looks him dead in the eyes and says:” I have a date.” The older brother blushes slightly and looks back down, facing the seat of the bus. Gabe opens his mouth and closes it again, looking like a fish while he does so. “Holy shit!” he mumbles.   
As soon as the bus stops the older Novak stands up, takes is rucksack, and shoves Gabriel out of the seat to get out of the vehicle. Cas walks fast and determined, hurrying to get home.   
Gabe has to run after his brother to catch up with him. “Why are you so pissed, brother?”  
Castiel stops dead in his tracks and Gabe nearly runs into him. Cas turns around to look into his brother's whiskey-colored eyes. “It's Dean. My date is Dean.” he announces.  
“Oh” the other states while pulling his arms around his torso. “That's nice. Congrats, have fun. But not too much fun.” Gabriel forces out a fake smile and without another word keeps walking towards their home and disappears in the doorway.  
Castiel is left standing on the street in front of their house without thinking about it he texts Sam.

Hello, Sam. It is Castiel. Would it be possible for you to give me your brother's number?

Within a few minutes there's a reply from Sam. Castiel saves the new number and shoves his phone back into his pockets, not before thanking Sam. The Novak enters the house, where he's greeted by his Dad, Chuck.   
“Hi, Castiel. How was school?”   
“Hello, Dad. Fine, how's the writing going?”   
“Terrible” Chuck answers, his hands bury in his mop of hair as he heads towards the kitchen to get another cup of coffee. 

Castiel heads into his bedroom, throws his backpack into a corner and picks out the phone from his pants. He stares at it for a long time, trying to find the proper words. His body falls back heavily onto the bed, and his hands end up on his head, messing up the black hair further. Eyes closed, and brows furrowed he thinks about how he's going to tell Dean that they can't go out.   
As he sits back up, determination is clear in his eyes. His chapped lips are pressed together in a thin line as he types out a message for Dean. 

Hello, Dean. This is Castiel. I received your number from Sam, I hope that is OK. I'm sorry but I have to inform you that a family crisis has arrived and I can not leave for our date. I am very sorry, Dean. 

After three minutes he gets a reply.

Heya, Cas. Sure it's OK. Hope everything's alright w/ ur family. If u need 2 talk, u got my number :)

Thank you, Dean.

No problem :) 

Castiel falls back into his bed, burying his head in one of the pillows.  
“Why does everything has to be so fucking complicated?” he swears into his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is kinda short, and I'm not really happy with it. I'm sorry, but i gotta update at least something. 
> 
> Comments, cristism and plot suggestions are appreciated.


	11. It's not always rainbows and unicorns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay but now there's a long chapter. I hope you like it. Comments, Kudos and Plot suggestions are highly appreciated. :) 
> 
>  
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> Homophobic Slurs,  
> Bullying,  
> Describtion of violence,
> 
> If you don't wanna read this chapter due to above reasons comment and I can give you a summary or a version without the bad bits :)

Castiel stays home for the whole weekend. All of them, Castiel's parents and Gabriel spend their Saturday playing board games. Even tough Gabe keeps cheating,their mother, Becky defeats them by a mile. Her usual victory-dance receives groans from everyone, Gabe tries to shield his eyes behind his arm while their Dad, Chuck just laughs at his wife before he stops her dancing with an affectionate hug. Castiel smiles at them fondly while his younger brother makes a gagging noise. His Dad looks at the younger boy, turns back to look into his wife's eyes, strokes her blonde hair behind her ears and kisses her fully on the mouth. The kiss deepens quickly and the brothers run out of the living room, where the game is left on the table, and hurry up the stair into Castiel's room. Cas' room is the furthest away from their parent's bedroom, the boys turn up the stereo as loud as possible. 

The alarm rings at exactly 7:30 am on Monday morning. A black mess of hair can be seen peaking out from under the blue covers at the shrill sound, quickly followed by a smooth hand smashing against the alarm clock, silencing it for a solid seven minutes.  
Castiel was about to hit the snooze-button for the third time when something small landed on his body and shouted into his ear:”Wake y-wakey!”  
“Get off me, Gabe” is the grumpy reply, muffled by the bed sheets.  
The younger brother sneers and informs Castiel that the bus will be there in a few minutes, while rushing out the room.  
Castiel hurriedly stands up, only to stop in the middle of the bedroom. His hand held against his head to fight against the dizziness that threatens to overwhelm him. “Fuck” he grumbles while putting on his black pants and reaching for his sweater, he nearly trips over on the process but manages to catch himself in the last second against the window.  
“Cassie! Bus is here!” Gabe stresses. The older Novak grabs his rucksack runs down the staircase, reaches for shoes and jacket and runs out on the street wearing only his sleep-socks.  
In the bus he puts on his sneakers while Gabe points out his colorful socks and laughs at the pink and blue dots on them. “Could you please stop forming voices with your mouth, brother?”  
Gabe just giggles and keeps bragging about the date he has on Saturday.  
Castiel shuts him out, he has heard that speech twice the day before so he won't miss anything important. He leans back against the gray bus seat and tries to relax before school begins.  
His mind wanders towards his classes. First Philosophy, were the current subject is Anaximander and the boy grows a fondness towards that philosopher. Second hour is math and third is Italian.  
“Oh no.” he mumbles, his heart beating a little bit faster as he remembers that he has to face Dean so soon. Now he would have to lie at his face. Cas groaned at that thought and let his head fall heavily against the seat. Gabe has since long stopped talking and is now eating a lollipop while Castiel tires not to freak out to much.  
The older boy is so deep in thought that he barely realizes that they have reached their destination, the school.  
Slowly and dreading the lessons he makes his way into the building, past his locker and into the classroom. The bell rings, the last students run into the class and finally the professor arrives, greets them, and starts the lecture. Castiel concentrates on the subject, he takes notes and nearly forgets about the soon encounter with the green-eyed teen.  
The time passes and sooner than Castiel hoped, the bell rang for the third time that Monday morning. With his head held low and a thumbs-up from Anna, who shares his math class, he loafs to Italian.  
The teenager sits down on his usual seat and buries his head in that weird book for English. He pretends to read but is actually looking out for Dean Winchester.  
He can't help but stare as the other boy rushes into the room. His hair a bit messier than usual, his flannel a little out of place and his shoelaces undone. Dean practically falls in his chair and sends a warm and charming smile directly towards Castiel.  
“Couch made me run an extra mile, even though he knows exactly that we don't have enough time to shower and change clothes as it is. Fucking asshole.” green eyes complain.  
“Hello to you too.” Castiel says with a smirk which makes the other blush and look down on his table. “I should thank Couch Balthazar then.”  
Dean just stares at him in confusion, eyebrow raised and lips pouting.  
“I prefer your hair… messy.” Castiel explains with a hint of red covering his cheeks.  
The other gives him a brilliant smile, leaves his hair messy and only straightens out his flannel and does the shoelaces.  
“Buongiorno, raggazzi. Silenzio per favore.”  
The room turns silent as Crowley starts talking about stuff and things. Castiel really doesn't understand a thing, it's humiliating. At this point he dreads the studying with Dean, he is aware that he will make a fool of himself as always, and it makes him go nuts. He keeps glancing towards the other teen just to make sure he is real, and not just some weird dream.  
“You know if you stop staring at me you wouldn't need my help.” Dean whispers without looking away from Crowley.  
Castiel quickly looks away and tries to stay focused on his teacher for the rest of the time, while willing his blush away. Dean just chuckles and continues to follow the lesson.

Five minutes before the lesson ends Mr. Crowley gives them their homework and let's his students take a break before the next hour starts. Dean immediately turns around to Castiel, before he manages to say something the professor calls Castiels name and heads towards him. Castiel shoots Dean a worried glance, the other answers with a subtle thumbs up and a smile.  
“Yes, Sir?” Castiel stammers while biting his lips.  
The professor hands him a pile of sheets before explaining:” Those are exercises. They start with the most profound grammar and vocabulary.” he turns to Dean and continues,”it would be easier for Castiel if you could help him out. Maybe motivate him a little.” His eyes wander between the two of them,” They need to be done in one month exactly and then you have to make another test to prove you caught up all the learning matter by that time.“  
“ Thank you, Sir” Castiel stumbles, his face has turned entirely pale, he swallowed visible when Crowley finally went back to his seat.  
The boy slumps in his chair and runs his fingers through the dark hair.  
Dean tilts his head and presses his lips into a tight line ”Hey” Dean addresses in a soft voice.”I'll help you with everything, I know you'll do great.” A smile crosses his lips but as soon as he sees the devastated look on his friend the smile falls. The bell rings, Dean throws his things in the bag and puts a warm hand on Cas' hunched shoulders. The slightly smaller boy looks up and is greeted with a small smile.  
“You got this, Cas. We can start today. After school good?”  
“Yes. Thank you, Dean.”  
“You're welcome.”  
And with that Dean Winchester disappears into the crowds of people in the hallway. 

Lunch and the next few lessons pass relatively quickly. Castiel's mind is preoccupied with thoughts of Dean Winchester and worries about Italian. He worries about making a fool of himself in front of Dean. He worries about failing the class, but most of all he worries about disappointing the people who put trust in him. Dean, his mother, his dad even his teacher.  
He doesn't realize he is biting his nails until his mouth tastes blood. He hisses a “fuck” and searches for a tissue to stop the light bleeding.  
The last bell of the day rings and at the same time his phone vibrates in the jeans pocket.

Meet me in the library in 10 -D.

Castiel slowly packs his things, he's the last one to head out the classroom. He lingers in the hallways before stepping towards his locker. It's one of those gray super old things, that have those locks you can open just by pulling a little stronger at the handle. Before opening the door of the locker Cas looks around and makes sure no one is in school anymore. He knows he is going to be late for the study session with Dean but his safety is more important. Everything seems clear so he quickly stuffs his books in the locker while grabbing simultaneously with his other hand the Italian textbook and his history book. He shoves them into his backpack but before he manages to get up the zipper a hard something collapses with the back on his head and his nose is pressed into the metal of his locker. A pained noise escapes his chapped lips his hand automatically reaches for his nose. He can feel the warm blood running over his lips, he can taste the metallic taste on his tongue and feel the fluid on his neck as it slowly make it's way into his sweater. His hand is swatted away as his body is jerked around to face his attacker  
Another impact on the back of his skull as he slams once again against the locker turns his vision blurry. He's not sure if it's from the tears or something more terrifying like brain damage.  
The attacker looks all to familiar, with that grin plastered on his face and that bobbing adam's apple that makes Castiel gag.  
“Hey Fagstiel”  
“Fuck off , Alistair.” is all that Cas growl through gritted teeth, while trying to wiggle free from the iron grip on his upper arms. A knee is pressed against his stomach making it uneasy to breath.  
“Hey Dumb ass. Leave him alone!”  
Alistair and Castiel, both look towards the voice and catch Dean Winchester standing in the middle of the empty hallway. His legs apart making the o-legs more visible, his hands are clenched in fists and he seems to be breathing hard. Cas really can't see that much but at least the blurriness had disapeared.  
Dean gets closer to the bully and while Alistair is distracted Castiel manages to kick his left knee directly into the attackers crotch. Alistair lets go of the other boy immediately, presses his hands to his crotch and groans in pain. Dean rushes forward kicks the boy literally in the ass and reaches out for Castiel. He grabs his arm and drags Castiel out the school,. They both run into the parking lot, where they both catch their breaths until Dean breaks out laughing. He holds his stomach and nearly doubles-over. Castiel is quick to join him and they are both messes, they can hardly breath, their stomachs are aching and their eyes are teary, but in the very best way. Dean is the first to calm down soon followed by Castiel as he hears someone scream his name, followed by swears and insults.  
“Fucking Alistair.” Dean swears,” Let's getcha outta here.”  
He point at his black muscle car and motions for Cas to take the passenger seat. He's quick to obey as the voice grows louder and gets closer every second. Castiel's face turns pale again while listening to all the swears coming from that bastard.  
Dean seems to grasp his discomfort, locks the door, turns on the engine and plays Led Zeppelin on full volume. With that they are out of school and danger.  
After a while of mindless driving Dean turns down the music.  
“Cas, are you hurt?” Dean asks, avoiding eye contact.  
Castiel keeps staring at the window before he admits:”Just a little headache. The nose bleeding stopped but I could use an ice pack.”  
“Shit. Sorry I'll turn around and we go to my place? We have ice packs and I am the perfect mother hen.” Dean sends a huge smile to Cas at that, before looking back on the street. 

True to his words it's not long until they are parked on Deans front lawn.  
“Here we are.” Dean says, he cuts the engine and is about to open the car door when Castiel suddenly speaks up:” Thank you, Dean.”  
The smaller boy still doesn't look up so Dean reaches towards him and softly lifts up his chin.  
Green meets blue. Deans brows furrow as he sees the teary blue eyes of his passenger. He doesn't hesitate to slide over to Castiel, directly into his personal space. He puts an arms around the others shoulder and hugs him close. Cas' head is now pressed against Deans broad chest, his fingers grab the soft fabric of Deans worn out shirt. Silent tears rush down his face as he lets himself being held by the other boy. Dean just holds him tighter as he feels the wetness on his shirt. He puts a small kiss on the others messy hair. Castiel wasn't sure if it was a peck or just Dean's chin on his, but the thought of Dean kissing his head makes him warm from the inside. He smiles through the tears as he thinks of Dean kissing him. The vision quickly turns into a terrible nightmare as he sees Alistair pointing at him and calling him names.  
Castiel can't hold back the sobs and full on cries onto Deans shoulder, he wants to move away and curl into a ball but the other boy stops him and keeps him close.  
Dean murmurs soothing words into the others ears until he's all out of tears and wipes the stains away with his sleeve.  
“I'm sorry.” he mumbles hiding himself behind a mess of hair.  
“Don't be.” Dean states calmly. He brushes the hair out of Cas' face and wipes remaining tear streams of his face. “C'mon let's get you inside, shall we?”  
“Yes, please.” Cas stutters.

 

Dean gets out the car and opens the door for Castiel. “Thank you, James.” Castiel mocks and puts a smile on Deans face, who quickly turns it into a fake pout. Castiel just chuckles while shyly reaching for Deans hand. Deans hand is warm and feels very much like home to Castiel. Blue eyes look at Dean, who stares at his feet and fumbles for his keys.  
He let's both into the house and reminds Castiel where the bathroom is so he can get cleaned up. Meanwhile Dean prepares two teas and an ice pack for Castiel. He carries everything upstairs into his room before going back down to wait for Castiel to be done.


	12. Authors Note

Hey, look I'm not sure if i am going to continue with this story.  
I'm sorry.  
So don't expect a new chapter soon. Maybe I continue maybe i won't.

That's it. Have a nice day y'all. Adios


	13. So Please Won't You Join Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Titel from Bry - Adventure Time 
> 
> Note: So here's a new chapter :D I am very excited about this, so wish me luck :D
> 
> Special thanks go to: nerdandrew and CastielsFluffyKitten and two Guests who demanded a new chapter. This is for you guys :) thanks, for being my muse for this, sorry that it took so long
> 
> And another thanks goes to ChibyL who helped me with the Italian stuff, hope they are still with me on the new chapters :D

Castiel looks at his reflection in the mirror, his face was covered in blood and tears. “Gross.” he mumbles as he waits for the cold water to get warmer. He splashes the water on his face and uses the cheap soap on the sink, careful, not to get any in his eyes. Cas dries his face, being extra careful around the nose area, before looking at himself again. His eyes are rimmed red and his nose is turning into a purple color. He frowns and walks back out of the bathroom only to bump into Dean.   
“Oh, sorry. You okay? I got you an ice pack. Here!” Dean talks really fast and his voice is a bit higher than usually as he hands Cas the pack, but won't meet his eyes.   
“I'm okay...” Castiel says slowly,”are you?”   
His question isn't answered as the other boy shoves him up the stairs into his bedroom.  
“What-”   
Castiel gets interrupted as soft lips collide with his, and his back collides with the wall. Castiel is just too shocked to respond to the kiss and Dean immediately pulls back.   
“Shit. I'm so sorry.” Dean falters, his hand violently pressed against his mouth. Trying to magically get that kiss back inside his mouth, and bury the very thought of it deep down in his brain.   
He turns away from Cas, who just stares at him with wide eyes. Dean presses his eyes shut and tries to keep the tears from spilling over.   
Castiel awakes from his freezing. He takes a step towards Dean, but the boy moves further away. “Hey,” Cas whispers, the noise deafening in the silence. Dean still doesn't respond. Castiel keeps moving closer, slowly, he reaches out with his hand and touches Dean's shoulder. The younger boy feels better when Dean doesn't shy away from him again, but he still won't turn around. “I'm sorry.” Dean whispers, his voice breaking, and thick with unshed tears.   
Castiel moves closer to the other boy, his breath feels hot on Dean's neck. Castiel keeps coming closer and closer until his front is pressed against Dean's back. Castiel's hand moves away from the other's shoulder, and down Dean's arm. Castiel's other hands follows soon. They wander over Dean's ribs and towards his pouchy belly.   
Castiel decides to keep hugging the older boy until he is told otherwise, and slowly Dean's breathing goes slower, deeper. He is more relaxed. Castiel kisses the other's neck, just a light peck, seconds of contact.   
Dean's shoulders relax and he breathes into the embrace. His hands move up to cover Cas'. Castiel's heart skips a beat at that and lays his chin on Dean's shoulder. Dean grins and the other boy kisses his cheek.   
A shudder runs down Castiel's back as the other lets go of his hands and wiggles free of the embrace. Dean turns around to face the younger boy, smiles and reaches for the other's hands. He pulls the boy closer to him again. One hand letting go and holding onto Cas' hips instead. With caution and slow movements he seduces Cas to move closer to him. So close their breaths mingle in the middle. “Can I kiss you?” Dean asks, his cheek turning a bright red color.   
“Yeah “ Castiel breaths as he moves to close the remaining distance between the boys. Their lips meet, their hearts stop for a moment only to pick up the pace afterwards.   
They don't move apart when they broke off the kiss. They stay close and breath in each others scents. After some time Castiel hesitates:”I really need that ice pack on my nose now.”   
Dean starts giggling as he gets some distance in between them again.   
“Where did you put it?” Dean asks while looking around in the room.   
“Uh..”   
Dean spots it on the floor next to the wall where Dean kissed Cas the first time.   
“I guess I let it go...” Castiel states, embarrassement audible in his voice.   
Dean breaks out into a laugh. At first Castiel pouts at him but soon chuckles too.


	14. This Is The Beat Of My Heart

The rest of the afternoon is spent on Dean's bed, surrounded by a now warm ice pack, loads of books and papers.   
“So, now we practice the verbs. Can you say “i go” ?” Dean asks patiently while playing with a loose thread from Cas' shirt.   
“Uuh… “io va”?”   
“Nope. It's “io vado”. See you gotta learn those exceptions by heart, I know it sucks but you'll get it with practice.” Dean moves around some pages until he finally settles on the one with the right information. “See, here's a chart of all the different persons.”  
“Oh.”   
“What?” Dean asks as Castiel stays silent.   
The younger boy turns away. Dean stops him and holds his chin, until Cas looks Dean in the eyes.   
“I don't understand that person thing… like what does it mean?” desperation and frustration clear in his voice. Castiel looks back down at his hands and crossed knees.   
“I'll explain it to you, that's why I am here.” His voice is soft and calm, and as Castiel still keeps his eyes cast downwards Dean moves closer to give him a peck on his cheeks and takes his hand in his.   
“Listen...” 

 

The hour in which Dean explains stuff to Castiel is over quite soon, nontheless is Castiel happy that his brain can finally get some rest again. The boys are cleaning up the mess and chaos they made on Dean's bed, as a tall boy with fluffy hair comes running into the room. He stops immediately as he sees that his older brother isn't alone. “Goddamnit, Sammy. I told you a hundred times to knock on my door before entering.” Dean sighs.  
“And I told you a hundred times that my name is Sam. Sammy is a chubby 13 year old.” Sam recites.   
“Hey, Sam.” Castiel greets, smiling at the younger brother.   
“Jesus, what happened to your face?” Sam exclaims, shock obvious on his face. His eyes widened and worried.   
“Sam!” Dean scolds.   
“An idiot from our school came up behind me and punched me against the locker. Nothing too bad.”  
“You serious?” Dean and Sam exclaim at the same time, looking at Castiel in disbelieve.   
“Wait!” Dean stops. “This has happpened to you before?” Dean's voice gets silent.   
Castiel looks away from the boys and whispers, “Yeah...”   
“Fuck.” Dean swears. “Sammy? Can you leave us alone for a bit?”  
“Yeah, sure.” Sam answers slowly and exits the room quietly.

Dean moves closer to Castiel on the bed. “What has he done to you?”   
Castiel just shakes his head, he doesn't want to talk about it, not now.   
“Alright.” Dean reassures him, “Com'here.”   
Castiel inches closer and lets himself being held for a second time this day. 

A silent knock comes from the door followed my Sam's voice:” I made toast for you. Want some?”  
“Sounds great.” Castiel answers through the door and gets up together with Dean from the bed.   
The three boys eat supper together, as Dean's parents are gone on wellness trip.   
After supper Castiel tells Dean that he has to get home and Dean offers him a ride.   
Dean gets a soft goodnight kiss in the Impala and heads back home.   
He feels light and happy, but like a summer day, it ends with a dark and loud storm. He can't stop thinking about the fact that Castiel gets beat up regularly. He needs to do something to stop this.


	15. I Knew You Were Trouble

Castiel gets out the Impala, a smile plastered on his bruised face. He unlocks the door as silent as possible, not wanting to gain any attention that the bruise would surely call. Cas tip toes into the house and hears his family talking in the kitchen. He knows he won't manage to pass the kitchen without them noticing him, due to the open door. Sighing he let's the door fall shut and shouts:”I'm home!” An echo of “Hey” is flooding out of the kitchen, while Cas is taking off his jacket and shoes. Turned towards the wall he mumbles:”I am tired. Excuse me, but I need some sleep. Good night.” With that he grabs his backpack and hurries up the stairs towards the bathroom on the second floor. After a quick shower, he puts on his pajama pants and a shirt with more holes than necessary in it on. Before leaving the bathroom he listens if anyone is around, when he can't hear anything he opens the door and closes the one to his room. Not bothering to switch on the lights, he just throws his dirty clothes into the corner of his room and let's himself fall on the bed. A sigh escapes his chapped lips and his eyes are slowly closing, making the darkness complete.   
Cas wakes up as he feels the mattress drop beside him. His eyelids are lifted up, and he tries to get used to the darkness where he can already make out a shadow. His rapid breathing slows down as he recognizes the familiar silhouette climbing over him.   
“Hey”, Castiel whispers.  
“Sorry, didn't want to wake you...”, the intruder replies, settling down between Cas and the wall, ”But now that you're up...Gimme a blanket.”   
“How lovely you are, dear brother.” Cas mocks before grabbing for the blanket that's always stocked under his bed. He hands it over to his brother, who turns into a burrito and without another word closes his eyes.   
Castiel knows that Gabriel is a very clingy person, who needs tons of love and affection. He is used to those visits since they were ten. Gabriel needs the closeness. As kids they slept in the same bed for years but when Cas reached the age ten, their parents separated them. Since then Gabriel just comes sneaking in when he's been having a shitty day or just not feeling good. That's exactly why Castiel has a hard time falling asleep when his brother is next to him. He is just worried about his little brother. Usually he doesn't sleep much for the rest of the night, but he never tells Gabe. Cas is just happy that his brother gets some sleep and feels save next to him.   
On very rare days the siblings talk about what's bothering them, on those days neither of them get much sleep.   
Castiel enjoy the provided warmth next to him, and regardless of the worry manages to fall into a light slumber.   
The alarm goes off, Gabriel turns around and kicks Castiel out of bed. With a loud thump her lands on the floor.   
“Assbutt.” Castiel grumbles, practically crawling out of his room. He brushes his teeth and puts on clothes in the bathroom, moving a bit slower than usually when Gabriel starts hammering on the door shouting that he needs to pee.   
With a sly grin he passes by a fidgeting Gabriel who only glares at him. 

Their littler banter is forgotten when they and their parents are eating breakfast together.   
“And the worst thing is...”, Gabriel states, pieces of cornflakes falling out of his mouth, “That it's only just Tuesday.”   
“Don't talk with mouth in your food, Gabriel.” Becky scolds him.   
Gabe sighs over dramatically while packing sweets into his schoolbag.   
“You are getting diabetes, if you eat all that...”, Cas asserts.   
“Whatever, Cassie.” With that the youngest Novak is out the door, shortly followed by Castiel. 

Castiel listens, takes notes, and even answers a few questions in class. School is a nice way to keep him distracted from his thought. First break comes and is spend together with Anna and Charlie in the library, talking about the new Star Wars movie.   
“It's gonna be epic!” Charlie swoons.   
The bell rings and they walk out the library. Castiel only catches a glance at Dean who is rushing down the hallway.   
“Well someone's in a hurry.” Anna states, raising her eyebrows while looking were Dean just disappeared around the corner.   
Castiel just hums hoping his broody mood would go unnoticed. Of course it didn't. Both girls are looking at him now, hands on their hips, questioning Cas with their eyes alone.   
“I can't be late again to maths...” Cas mumbles, tearing his eyes away from theirs and hurries away. His eyes stay downcast until he reaches the classroom and can let himself be distracted.


	16. There's a stomach inside my brain

Castiel knows there's no chance of avoiding the questions the girls are going to bombard him with, so he tries to figure out how much he is going to tell them. Just thinking about all of this makes is stomach go wild. He feels like puking, but there's this silent voice in the back of his mind that tells him that talking about it will make it a bit better, and his friends always have great advice. Seriously though, who is he going to kid, Charlie knows him since kindergarten, he can't keep anything secret from her. 

Math and chemistry pass rather quickly, and then it's time for lunch. He packs his stuff in a hurry, knowing that Dean always takes longer to get into the cafeteria. Castiel's heart jumps at the thought of seeing Dean, but Cas' mind ignores it. He needs to figure things out before he can handle seeing or even talking to the boy.  
Castiel thanks his mum for giving him lunch to bring to school this day, due to that he's the first on the table and seats himself with his back towards Dean's and Lisa's table. His heart stings a bit at that, he pushed that feeling towards the back of his mind as he sees Charlie and Anna. They're making their way towards the table, both holding a tray with food. Before they manage to sit down Castiel starts:”I have to talk to you.” 

Charlie raises her eyebrow and sits down before speaking:”Has it got to do with that bruise on your nose?”  
Castiel touches his nose, he had completely forgotten about it. “Kind of.”

Now that Anna is sitting as well, he starts talking:”Dean and I met to study in the library.” Charlie opens her mouth to interrupt him with a dirty joke, but Cas shuts her up with the motion of his hands and continues.  
“I didn't even get to the library, because Alistair came after me and pushed me against the locker, hence the bruise.”  
“That fucker!” Anna says a bit to loud and the heads of some of their schoolmates turn towards their table. Anna makes a shooing motion and they all look away.  
“Yeah,” Cas sighs,”Anyways, Dean saw it, I kneed Alistair in the groin and we ran to Dean's car.”  
Charlie raises her hand to give Cas a high five and a massive smile.  
“Dean took me to his house and gave me an ice pack, and we started studying like we planned to do.”  
“Did you do anything else?” Anna asks.  
“Something that involves to pairs of lips?” Charlie adds with a wink.  
Castiel doesn't answer but his blush is more than enough for them.  
“Oh my!” Charlie exclaims and grins like the Cheshire cat.  
“Was it that bad? Is that why you are so moody, cause Dean, the soccer-player is a bad kisser?” Anna whispers wide eyed.  
Castiel vehemently shakes his head:”No. It was great.. he is great...”  
“So where's the problem?” Charlie asks now very confused.  
“Gabe likes him.”  
“Didn't you say he was okay with it?” Charlie asks now even more confused.  
The boy sighs:”You know my brother, he's a liar. I can see it in his eyes. He's heartbroken.”  
“That sucks ass.”  
Castiel agrees with Anna:”I have to stop seeing Dean.”  
“Cas, you still need him for tutoring.” Charlie points out with a sigh. “You can't fail this class.”  
The boy lets his head fall onto the table and mumbles:”I didn't think about that.”  
Anna pets his hair affectionately, ”We'll figure something out, right bae?”  
“Exactly!”  
Castiel groans as the bell rings, signaling the end of the break and the beginning of the last two hours for the day.  
The three stand up to leave the cafeteria. Castiel's eyes are fixed on the floor, his thoughts spinning with supersonic speed, as he crashed into something solid. A familiar smell of leather and cinnamon envelops him. Before he manages to mumble an apology, strong hands are wrapped around his arms and a warm voice says:”Easy there, sunshine.”  
The lips that belong to the voice are smiling as the slightly taller boy looks down on Cas.  
“Oh, hello Dean.” Castiel presses forth.  
“Hey.” Dean whispers in a soft voice. His green eyes sparkling.  
“I have to go.” Castiel states, trying to keep all emotions out of his voice. Dean immediately lets go of Cas' arms, hurt obvious in his face. Castiel's heart gives a painful twitch at that sight as he walks past Dean and out of the cafeteria. Instead of´going to his English class he goes to the nearest toilet, where he plans to lock himself into a stall. Sadly he doesn't get that far. With his luck the next person he literally runs into is Gabriel. He really needs to start paying more attention when he walks, Cas thinks to himself.  
Gabe looks at him, not the way Cas expected him to after their little banters in the morning. Before Gabe says anything else he asks his brother what's wrong.  
“Nothing.” Cas grumbles, although the 'nothing' isn't very believable as tears start running down his face.  
Gabe guide him the last few steps towards the toilets. He checks if anyone else is in there, while Castiel tries to calm his breathing. Gabe then locks the door to the toilets, before he moves to embrace his big brother. At that Castiel starts to sob, and tries to wiggle his way out of Gabe's strong hands.  
“No.” Gabe states, matter of factly, and Castiel stops and let himself be held.  
“Breath in with me, okay?”  
Castiel nods against his brother's shoulder and focuses on his breathing.  
Once he has calmed down, Gabriel let's go of him and demands to know what's wrong. No matter what Gabriel does to coax the truth out of his brother, nothing's working.  
“I'm sorry. I will tell you when I'm ready. I promise.” A small, reassuring smile crosses Castiel's lips and is mirrored on Gabe's face.  
“Wanna skip the rest of this hour in the parking lot?” Gabe asks, “I even share my candy supply with you.”  
Castiel smiles and together they walk outside to fill their stomachs up with candy.


	17. Wish we could turn back time

As the brother's share Gabe's candy under the bleachers, Gabe pops a lolly in his mouth and addresses the obvious:”Are you going to tell me what makes you think so hard right now or do you want me to figure it out on my own?”  
Castiel's eyes widen at the comment and before he can say anything Gabe adds:”Yes, I can see you thinking. Your forehead is all-”, he makes a squished together motion, “Y'know wrinkly and stuff.”  
Castiel smiles at that:”My brother! So talented with words.”  
“Shuddup, assbutt.” Gabriel grins and boxes Cas's shoulder lightly, before getting serious again. “It has to do with that bruise, hasn't it?”  
And again, as with Dean, Cas touches his nose at the mention of the bruise.  
“Kinda.” he admits.  
“Tell meee!” Gabe whines.  
Castiel reluctantly tells his brother about what Alistair did yesterday, after school.  
“I know that's shit. I just don't understand what makes it different this time, I mean it wasn't the first time he hurt you...” Gabriel adds insecure.  
“Because...” Castiel starts, “That's not all of it. The thing happened afterward.” His voice grew softer and more silent towards the end of the sentence. Castiel looks away from his brother's curios glance and starts fidgeting with a loose thread on his shirt. The same thread Dean played with the day before, as he remembers that, he let's it fall as if it caught on fire.  
“Tell me?” Gabriel whispers, moving in close to his brother.  
“You're going to hate me.” Castiel answers barely audible, his eyes welling up with tears once again.  
“Never.” states Gabe and puts his arm reassuringly around his brother.  
Castiel takes a deep and shaky breath before speaking again:”Dean and I left in the Impala, he brought me to his house...” he stops and looks at his brother, searching his face.  
“Go on.” Gabe says, joined by a head motion.  
“We kissed.” Castiel presses forth. Now he can't bring himself to face his brother. He doesn't have to, he senses the way his brother's arm around his shoulder gets tense. The heavy breath Gabe takes isn't ignorable.  
“Oh.”  
That's it. The only thing the younger Novak says is 'oh'. Castiel still doesn't dare to look into the other's eyes, but he has to. He takes up all his courage, takes a deep breath and begins talking again:”I'm sorry, Gabriel. I shouldn't -”  
Gabe interrupts him:”Did you want to kiss him?”. His eyes darting away.  
“Yes.”  
Gabe swallows audibly before asking the next question:”Did he want to kiss you?”  
“Yes, Gabe I-”  
“Do you still want to kiss him?” Gabriel's face changes from friendly and open to hard and cold. Castiel hates seeing his brother like this. Being the reason for it just makes it a lot worse.  
“Yes.” Cas whispers.  
Gabe's hand is still around Cas' shoulders, he squeezes Cas and then moves to stand up.  
He looks at Castiel who's still sitting on the ground.  
“I told you it's alright.” He puts a smile onto his lips, and if you weren't Castiel you wouldn't notice that it's as fake as Pamela Anderson's boobs.  
“And I know you're lying.” He says standing up as well. “I won't kiss him again. I promise.”  
Gabriel presses his lips together tightly, instead of responding he just nods, turns around and leaves Castiel alone at the bleachers.  
Castiel groans silently as he follows soon after Gabe, back into the school building.  
His next class is spend sulking, he has to constantly ask someone what he is supposed to do. He just can't concentrate anymore. After half an hour Castiel gives up, and pulls out his phone. Putting it so that the teacher won't see him. 

**Hello, Dean. We need to talk. ******

_Hi, Cas. Hope it's nothing bad :/ When and where? ___

****__**Do you have time after school? At the bleachers ******_ _ ** **

_Will b there :) ___

Castiel puts back his phone and tries to think of things to say to Dean to explain the situation without humiliating Gabriel. He sighs and lets his head fall onto his desk. 

 

*********

 

It doesn't take long for Dean to arrive. Castiel is seated on the bleachers, looking over the sports field where the cheerleader are practicing. He doesn't look up when Dean sits down next to him, their legs touching.  
“This looks a hell of a lot like you're breaking up with me...” Dean states, but he doesn't sound bitter, just a bit disappointment.  
“We aren't really in a relationship, are we, Dean?”  
“No, I guess not.” Now Dean sounds sad and that just makes Cas feel that much worse. He wanted to do this cold-hearted, a clean cut. It's only now that he realizes he can't do that. He looks at Dean, looks him in those green eyes, and feels tears welling up.  
“I'm sorry.” He whispers.  
Dean nods, his face has softened:”Can you tell me why?”  
“Not yet.”  
Dean sighs and looks away.  
“It's not that I don't like you.” Cas adds, “Believe me, I like you a lot.” His face turns red at this and a small smile crosses Dean's lips.  
“I like you a lot too, Cas.” Dean's face now copies Cas', turning both boys into tomatoes rather than humans.  
Castiel smiles at the confession, before casting downwards and explaing:”It's bad timing.”  
The things that Dean says next make Castiel speechless.  
“You're right. I mean, with my final year I have to study so much, it's ridiculous.”  
Somehow those words hit Castiel really hard, and he hides his face from Dean.  
Dean's fingers touch his chin and coax Cas into looking into his eyes. He smile at Cas, it's a sad smile. “From now on...” he starts, closes his eyes and presses his lips softly against the other boy, and continues, “we are friends. If you want to, I mean-”  
“I'd love to be your friend, Dean.” Cas interrupts and smiles at him. “Maybe one day the timing is better.”  
“I hope so.” Dean answers.  
They both get up and walk away next to each other. Dean goes towards the Impala where Sam is already waiting for him, and Castiel goes towards the road he is so familiar with.

 

 

  



	18. No Light, No Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos :)

Dean drives his brother home, but not like usually with rock music blasting, but utter silence. Sam tries to coax Dean into a conversation but it's fruitless and Dean is glad he gives up. Dean decides to not pay attention to the way his brother is shifting uncomfortable in his seat, until he just can't take it anymore. “What?” Dean blasts.  
“Huh?” Sam jumps a bit as Dean talks.  
“Why are you fidgeting so much? Need to pee?”  
Sam rolls his eyes at that.  
“I'm not the one who's being weird today, Dean.” Sam mumbles. Dean notices how he is pressing himself further against the seat as if he wants to be swallowed up by it. Sam expects an explosion, and somehow this gets Dean out of his own mind. He didn't think how his behavior must look to Sam. So instead of exploding he apologizes:”I'm sorry, Sammy.”  
Dean parks the car in front of their house and looks over at his brother, whose eyes have widened.  
The Winchesters get out of the car and into the house.  
“Talk to me?” Sam suggests, throwing his backpack against the staircase.  
Dean just groans at that, and moves further towards the kitchen to cook. Cooking always calms his nerves, even more than driving those.  
“Oho.” Sam teases, “You're cooking. Must be real bad then.”  
“Shut up, Sammy.” With that he picks out some vegetables from the fridge and starts peeling them.  
Sam lifts himself up on the kitchen counter and stares at his brother for a solid five minutes, not making any noise.  
Before Dean manages to point out his annoyance Mary, their mother comes through the door.  
“Hello, boys.” She greets them with her usual peck on the cheek and a warm smile. Dean realizes his mum staring. Dean sighs and assures:”Yes, I am cooking. No, I don't want to talk about it.”  
Mary smiles fondly at her first born:”Alright, If you change your mind...”  
Dean interrupts:”I know where to find you. I know.”  
Before Mary leaves the kitchen again he quickly ads a 'thanks'. 

His focus is regained by the pile of vegetables lying on the counter. He cuts the carrots into slices and begins:”You're going to stay here until I talk to you, right?”  
“Yup.” Sam states calmly.  
Dean sighs:”Alight. Could you close the door and get the butter out?”  
Sam slides down the counter and does as demanded.  
Dean isn't very good at starting talking about things, so he hopes his brother will do him the favor and begins. He doesn't have to wait very long.  
“It's about Castiel, right?”  
“Yeah.” Dean assents, “We need half of the butter, and flour!”  
Sam starts putting the ingredients on the counter he sat on, following Dean's orders.  
Dean is happy to have a brother like Sam, someone who understands him and doesn't question the way things work for him.  
“You didn't just give him private lessons.”  
“We kissed. “ Dean admits, moving on from the carrots to the zucchini.  
“You must reeeeeally suck at kissing.” Sam teases, and promptly gets shoved away.  
“You're so funny, Sam. A real grown up.” Sarcasm dripping from every word.  
Sam laughs and receives a punch on the arm for that. Dean can't help himself, his lips are forming into a small smile:”Bitch.”  
“Jerk.”

“What next?” Sam asked.  
Dean turns away from his cutting board and towards his brother. “Cut the butter in little squares and then mix it with the flour and the salt.” Dean rubs his palms together, “Like that.”  
“Got it.”  
Dean moves to the stove and puts a pot with water on it. He starts cleaning up the parings: ”Cas said that now is bad timing. You know what I answered to that? That he is right. What the fuck? Why would I even say something like that, gee.” Dean groans in frustration, his hand rubbing his neck. “ I mean, sure I got the finals coming, and it's my last year of high school, but I would find time!”  
Sam knows Dean enough not to interrupt his outburst and just listen, and only offer advice at the absolute end of Dean's monologue.  
The water starts to boil, Dean ads a bit of salt and a bowl of sliced carrots.  
“I am such a fucking idiot, aren't I. Why didn't I say something else?” he ads:” Oh and the best thing, that wasn't even the most idiotic thing I said!”  
“What did you say?” Sam asked, struggling with the dough.  
“That we can be friends. Fucking _friends_. I don't wanna be friends with Cas. I wanna hold him and kiss him-” he interrupts himself. “I am so screwed.”  
“He wouldn't even tell me why.” He stops, his face turns as white as the wall behind him,”Oh god… that was an excuse. Maybe you're right, Sam, and I am a bad kisser.”  
His facial features now totally out of control, resembling a deer caught in the headlights or that of a rabbit that just keeps running in circles instead of away.  
“Dean!” Sam puts the finished dough on a dish and moves to Dean. “Stop making yourself crazy over this. Castiel likes you.”  
“How would you know?” Dean practically screams at his brother his forehead in a deep frown.  
“I saw how he looked at you.”  
Dean turns away and rolls his eyes. “You know nothing, Sam.”  
“I'm not John Snow.” Sam states annoyed.  
Dean fishes the carrots out of the water, ads a bit more salt and some sweet peppers.  
“Dean, I think I know why Cas can't do this now...” Sam's voice grows silent.  
“What?”  
“Remember Gabe?”  
“Sure, I was on a date with- Oh.” Realization hits Dean like an ice cold wind.  
“Yeah. I think Gabriel might like you.” Sam presses forth.  
“That's fucked up.” Dean turns around at that, trying to clear his head.  
The older Winchester sighs and exchanges the peppers with the zucchini and puts crème fraîche in a bowl with spices and an egg.  
Sam keeps standing behind Dean not really moving. Then Dean hears something he hasn't heard in a while, Sam sniffs. Dean darts around.”No, no, no.” He mumbles, “Sam, please tell me that's not true. Please?”  
Sam's eyes are fixed on the floor, his shoulders shaking slightly. The older boy doesn't hesitate to pull Sam against his chest, holding him tight until his brother has calmed down and stopped shivering. “How about we finish this quiche and then watch some Game of Thrones?”  
“Yeah.” Sam manages a small smile and pulls away from his brother. Dean instructs him on how to roll out the dough, and then fills it with the vegetables and the crème fraîche mix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't really like how calm everything was last chapter so i tried to make it a bit more realistic. Hope you enjoyed it. leave a comment if you did :)


	19. We Can't Stand To Fall Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the Kudos :)

“Charlie!” Castiel whines as soon as his friend picks up the phone. He's walking home, not the way he usually walks, but really slow. To him it feels like a nightmare, one of those where you run and run but your feet are just stuck in the place, and you move in slow motion while everything around one is on full speed. He can hear Charlie responding at the other end of the line but somehow even the noises seem to stop right before they hit his ear. He hears something familiar: his name. His name is being repeated. He tries to answer, but his tongue moves through jelly now and he hardly manages to gasps out a sound. The voice at the other end stops, before rapidly picking up again. Castiel's brain can't follow. He barely even notices the sound that signalizes the end of the phone conversation. Somehow, and Cas really doesn't know how, he pushed his phone back inside his pockets. His feet feel heavy when he tries lifting them, one at a time. He doesn't get far.   
A warm and solid hand on his shoulder tears him out of his state of trance. The hand turns him around to face the person touching him. Castiel thought it would be Charlie or another nice face. He couldn't have been more wrong. Castiel wants to say his name, but his tongue is still stuck, unwilling to form words.   
The other boy, Alistair, has an evil grin plastered on his face. “All alone here today?” he mocks. Castiel tries to shake the hand from his shoulder, but the grip keeps getting tighter, his nails digging into Cas' flesh. Finally his mouth is able to make a sound, a pained cry, followed by a groan as Alistair punches into his stomach.   
The sweets form earlier say hello and wave goodbye as they land on the sidewalk in front of Castiel.   
Alistair jumps away from him, in order to not get any of this on his precious designer shoes. Castiel can't hold himself up any longer and kneels down on the ground, one hand clutching his stomach and the other holding him steady on the ground.   
Castiel prepares himself for a punch against his back as he heaves up what's left in his stomach.   
Once Cas stops puking, he can feel Alistair coming closer again, he closes his eyes and tenses his muscles. He can hear a car screeching to a halt next to where he's still kneeling on the ground. A door is shut violently, followed by heavy and fast steps. Castiel looks up and behind him, just in time to see Charlie punching her fist in Alistair's face. The sound of her hitting his nose is disgusting. You can hear it crack under Charlie's fingers, she quickly retreats her hand and presses it against her chest. Her eyes wide in shock as she takes in the blood that rushes out of the bully's nose and down his shirt. Alistair looks at her the same, but whereas Charlie is proud of her punch, Alistair is angry. Incredibly angry.   
Castiel scrambles to his feet. His vision going blurry and unfocused. He reaches out for Charlie's hands. The touch makes her snap out of it and her shock filled eyes are focused on his. He drags her in the back seats of her car. Thankful to see Anna sitting at the steering wheel with a mix of surprise and something Castiel isn't so sure of. He pushed Charlie towards the other side of the car and follows her inside. Before Castiel manages to fully close the car door behind him, Anna has already started driving again, making the engine roar. Castiel looks out of the back windows, he watches Alistair. His blood running down in between his fingers, and the way his jaw clenches tightly. Cas' stomach jumps at that, but not in the nice way he has gotten so used to over time with Dean.  
“Charlie. What the fuck just happened?”   
“We could ask the same to you, Cas.” Anna states smirking, “By the way, that was amazing, babe.”   
Anna checks to see Charlie's reaction in the rear view mirror, and grins as she sees Charlie's slight blush creeping up her cheeks.   
“No.” Cas groans, “You are kidding me, aren't you?”   
“What?” Both girls cry in unison.   
“Anna, please tell me I am wrong?”  
Now it's time for Anna to blush and shyly look away.   
Charlie looks at Cas questioningly. Castiel laughs out loud before answering a bit breathless:”Anna is aroused.” He starts laughing again like a maniac and it only gets worse as he sees both girls turning a deep shade of red while avoiding anyone’s eyes.   
Castiel's whole body shakes with laughter, but suddenly something in the atmosphere of the car changes. Cas can feel a warm hand on his and soothing voice close to him. He is handed a pack of tissues, and only then does he realize that his laughter has turned into violent sobs.   
After some time Anna announces that they're here. By 'here' she probably means Castiel's house, but as he looks outside they are parked in front of Charlie's. Together they stumble into the house and towards Charlie's bedroom. Castiel excuses himself and goes to the bathroom, trying to clean himself up a bit. He steals some of the floss to wash his mouth from the disgusting taste on his tongue. He washes his face clean from any tear streaks and walks into Charlie's room.   
Without saying a word his crosses the room and closes the distance between himself and Charlie. To hell with personal space he things as he hugs his best friend tightly. It's not a normal hug between friends, it's a hug that says a thousand words. The way his hands cling to her shirt and how tight he holds her are enough words for them both to understand.   
Even though unnecessary, he thanks Charlie and of course Anna for what they did.   
Thankfully both girls chose to ignore his sobbing from earlier and they talk about how much of a badass Charlie is.   
Pain flashed through Cas' body when he notices Charlie holding an icepack against her knuckles. There's no way to stop Cas' tears from falling hot and heavy down his cheeks. His best friend got hurt because of him. Because he was to weak to do it himself. Soon the tears are followed by pained sobs and he buries himself against the palms of his hands. Charlie's hands are quickly surrounding him, he can't hear what she whispers in his ear. “I'm sorry.” he presses forth and Charlie grips his wrists, he doesn't even try to pull away.   
Charlie pulls at his hands and eventually manages separate his tear-slick palms from his face.   
“Castiel.” He looks up as Charlie says his full name. “I wanted to do this, okay? I wanted to help you, but you know what I wanted to do more?”   
Castiel shakes his head.   
“I wanted to punch Alistair in the face since day one of freshman year.”  
Anna chuckles at that, and a small smile tugs at Cas' lips.  
“Sorry to tell you that I didn't just do it to save your grace, angel.” Castiel rolls his eyes at this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know why i add so much angst to this...  
> Leave a comment :)


	20. Those stair is were I'll be hiding all my problems

Castiel spends his afternoon at Charlie's. The girls covered him with at least five blanket. “Cas! This one even has penguins on it!” Anna squeals and drags a colorful blanket, indeed covered with penguins, over Castiel's shoulders. Castiel shuffles back to lean against the wall at the head of the bed. He uses one blanket, this one was striped with rainbow colors, as a pillow and rolls it against the wall and his back. Anna next to him does the same with a white, broad pillow. Her shoulder brushes against his as she leans back. Castiel smiles up at her, keeping his shaking hands hidden safely under the blankets. Although Castiel declined the offer of blankets at first he's relieved that his friends didn't listen to him. Blankets make him feel save. Like a fluffy, colorful armor that keeps you warm. He's still pretty shaken up, not only about what happened with Alistair, but also what happened with Dean. Mostly because of what happened with him. He hasn't had one of those moods in months, and there he was, not able to move and talk, not even hear. Castiel groans internally at the thought of having to tell it to his therapist. Before Castiel sinks deeper into the bottomless pit called thinking, Charlie comes running into her bedroom. Her hands are in front of her chest, holding onto a pile of DVD's, like a mother would cradle her newborn.  
Charlie slides across the wooden floor. She lays the pile down, carefully.  
“So we got,  The Hobbit, Sweeney Todd, Sherlock, Star Trek  , all of the new ones, and of course  Star Wars .”  
“ The force awakens .” Anna states.  
“YES!” Charlie cries. “I chose my woman wisely.” With that Charlie leans forwards and presses a kiss on Anna's lips.  
“Yes, you do.” Anna agrees. A soft smile playing at the corner of her mouth. Her green colors lighting up, like a candle in a dark room.  
Charlie moves back to insert the disc and jumps back into the bed. She settles on the other side of Anna, letting her head fall on Anna's shoulder.  
Castiel can't help the jealousy from rising. It's stuck in his throat, impossible to be swallowed down. He casts his eyes towards the TV screen, forcing himself to focus on the movie, while he buries himself deeper into the blankets, pretending it's another person’s warmth that keeps him company. 

“There's nothing more beautiful than the love story between Finn and Poe.” Charlies gushes as the credits roll down the screen.  
“Yeah.” Castiel admits with glassy eyes.  
Anna shakes her head at them and crawls out from the middle of the bed.  
“Are you leaving?” Castiel asks, while sitting up from his half lying position.  
“Yeah.” She frowns, “There's this massive essay that's like due tomorrow.” Anna groans and apologizes for having to leave so soon. She picks up her school backpack that she left lying in the corner of the room. She leans over the bed to kiss Castiel's head. “Be strong.” She whispers against his ear, and Castiel nods, a silent tear running down his cheek.  
Anna crawls onto the bed to reach Charlie and kiss her goodbye.  
Charlie and Cas follow her downstairs where Anna puts on her blue coat and heads out of the door.  
“How about dinner? I'm starving.” The girl exclaims as she drags Castiel after her into the kitchen.  
“Can you make that toast?”  
“You mean my special toast, right?” Charlie grins at Cas' request.  
“Yes, please.”  
With that the friends start to prepare their dinner, put it in the toaster and eat it in silence.  
Charlie starts putting the plates away, they have little blue flowers on it, and always remind Castiel of how much time he and Charlie spent here as kids.  
“Charlie?” he asks.  
“Yeah?”  
“Can I talk to you about… about to today?”  
“Of course. Let's go back to my room?”  
Both of them head back to Charlie's room, both taking in their respective places from before.  
“ I told Gabriel, about Dean I mean.”  
“Oh.” Charlie says, “Is he okay?”  
“I doubt it.” Castiel's voice is thick with tears, “I'm a terrible brother.” he chokes out.  
“Hey. You are the best brother, okay?” Charlie tries to console him as she looks for another pack of tissues.  
Castiel just shakes his head, while tears are rolling down his cheeks.  
“Cas, listen to me. You are the kindest, nicest and purest person I know.”  
Castiel simply looks at her with wide watery eyes.  
“I stopped the thing with Dean.” Cas states.  
“See? Best brother ever.” Charlie smiles at him, but only her mouth, her eyes seem sad.  
Cas huffs out a laugh and shuffles towards Charlie, burying his head on her shoulders.  
“You're a great friend. You know that, Charlie?”  
“You just say that because of my awesome toast making skills.” She grins at Cas.  
“Right.” Cas smiles,”I only like you for the toast.”  
They sit in comfortable silence for a little while until Charlie breaks it:”You know, if it's meant to be, it will be.”  
“I think you've read too many love stories.” Cas states, with a warm smile on his lips. He gets off the bed. “Thanks for everything today, Charlie.”  
“No problem.”  
The girl gets up as well, and follows Castiel to the front door. “You sure don't want a ride home?”  
“No, I'm good.”  
Castiel moves in for another hug and mumbles “I love you.”.  
“Love you too.” Charlie says and closes the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the veeeery long delay. Life is being unkind, but i try my best.   
> Thanks for the kudos, every single one makes me very happy. 
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter :)


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